2. You Will Love Differently
Don’t be alarmed. It’s okay.
Sometimes it’s a “how did I get this lucky” type satisfaction that resonates you with wonder and joy so much so that every moment with them feels like a sort of boast somehow, a human embodiment of whistling in a cartoon, and a moment you know as you live it you want preserved safely in the past coupled with a vast expanse of present wonder – that’s a love.
Other times it’s a bittersweet, lingering affection not quite spoken but refracted over time and miles, from abroad and distorted, communicated in whispers of looks and texts, late in the night as you think and drink, in a space where happy and sad meet in a ponderous gray, beautiful like a Drake song — that’s a love.
Sometimes it’s just the wildly nice experience of being in their company, and they like hamburgers and the right kind of hamburgers, and you pursue them with the eager, calm excitement of a friendship gone deeper. You bring them to parties and lose them in the midst of fun only to find them again. It’s pleasant as hell.
Sometimes it’s an illogical, even inconvenient love for someone so other, so different and alien that it stretches you. It grows you, and you grow them, and you spend time baffled, excited, calm, worried, and everything else with or without them. It’s a love that perplexes even as it fills you.
It can be a different type, too. It can been a love that just elevates and expands you, an endearing, smiling “look at this text message” type affection that makes you want to hold their hand and have them in your bed because they’re cozy and they fit, fit in some crook of yourself you didn’t know was missing. And it might not even be missing. But when you’re with them, you feel more than yourself, more than complete, some 128%-type odd fraction that just exceeds the life you had before. You feel present, too, living in live-action moment not thought in a dreamy, every-moment-stretched-and-savored type way of elevation — that’s a love, too.
Again: the takeaway is it’s different, and you’ll experience it differently with different people at different times. Don’t be blinded.